Payback with the Pirates
by BlueStar137
Summary: Tidus has been jailed for point-shaving in blitz ball, but when he escapes from prison, he sets out to get revenge on the man who put him in there, which takes him on a rather unexpected journey. Contains several OCs. Please R
1. Chapter 1

Tidus wore horrible coffee coloured overalls with the top half folded down by his waist showing off his muscular torso. He was immensely hot and dripping with sweat. He slumped down onto the torn, dirty and cock-roach infested mattress in the corner of his cell and rest his back upon the hard and gritty surface of the prison wall.

His stomach moaned loudly. He was so hungry. Prison food came in poor quality and small portions. He was not used to eating such a minimum amount of food. In his blitz ball days he would eat anything and everything, as back then he needed the energy for his sport. But now times had changed, he was no longer a blitz ball star and he would probably never play blitz ball again. He had been charged with racketeering or 'point-shaving' as most people called it and was banned from blitz ball and now doing a five year sentence in jail.

The blazing sun forced its way through the metallic bars of the cell window and onto Tidus' face, forcing him to squint and move into the shadows. Then came heavy footsteps from outside his cell and a horrible high pitched clang and Tidus instantly knew it was Drika, the overweight guard who loved to hit his truncheon against the cell bars just to piss off all the prisoners.

Drika was not only well known for his size but also his bushy, grey handle bar moustache and his oddly coloured eyes – one green, the other red. His skin was rosy pink and covered in freckles. He was short and fat; he ate vast quantities and seemed to get bigger everyday as his black uniform trousers and cream shirt always just looked that little bit tighter with each new day you saw him. There was always a low groan from the inmates every time Drika was around – nobody liked him.

Drika passed Tidus' cell slowly, having a leisurely and rather nosy look in. Tidus pretended not to notice – he did not want to see that ugly face. Drika hit his truncheon against the bars and yelled, "Tidus! Put your goddamn overalls on properly! Stop showing off your abs, you're making us all feel fat!"

Tidus glared at the fat man, but reluctantly did as he was told. The guard smiled smugly to himself and then continued his journey along the corridor and began whistling some tuneless song. He had to stop every now and then to catch his breath, as walking and whistling at the same time was an intense workout for him.

Tidus sighed and slid his back down the wall and onto the grotty mattress. He undid his overalls once again, "Ty!" a camp voice whispered from the opposite cell. "Ty! Can you hear me?"

Tidus lifted his head from the mattress. "What is it Lenny?"

Lenny was a handsome black man with skin that shone like ebony. He was effeminate and quite obviously homosexual. His body was short yet athletic and was not a dissimilar build to Tidus. His hair was a short buzz cut and he had a faint goatee gradually appearing on his face. Drika had clearly not spotted that Lenny was just in his boxers when he had passed the cells.

"Come here," gently whispered Lenny.

Tidus dragged himself out of his bed and approached the bars of his cell door. It was only when he rested his head against the bars to get a proper look into Lenny's cell did he realise his handsome inmate was only in his underwear.

"Lenny!" Tidus chuckled. "Put some clothes on for God's sake!"

Lenny smugly smiled. "Oh come on Ty, you're loving it really."

Tidus smirked. "Suppose so."

"When we are on a break, do you wanna hit the laundry room again?" asked Lenny with a twinkle in his eye.

Tidus half smiled. "Maybe not this time Len…I've got stuff on my mind. I just need some time to myself."

Lenny looked disappointed. "Well…do you at least wanna talk about it?"

"No…don't worry Len, I'll be alright," replied Tidus as he gradually stumbled back onto his bed.

Lenny still held onto the bars of his cell door and squeezed his small head through the gap. "Remember, no matter what people say, I'm still gonna love your point shaving ass!"

Tidus yawned, he was all of a sudden sleepy. "Thank you Lenny, I appreciate your support…but please don't call me that again."

Lenny pulled his head back through the bars. "Sorry Ty."

"Now quit bothering me!" Tidus replied in a playful tone.

Later, in the evening at about ten o'clock, the guards came by the cells to do the standard routine of calling, "Lights out," and ordering all prisoners to get into their beds. As he did every night, Tidus got into his filthy bed and pulled the rugged duvet over him. However, this time he made sure he did not get comfortable, he wanted to be wide awake, as tonight he was planning to escape. A couple of hours had passed and still Tidus' eyes were wide open; he glanced at this watch and saw that it was exactly midnight. It was time to move.

For the passed year and a half of being stuck in jail, Tidus had been slyly dislodging several bricks on his wall with a broken bit of sword he had managed to smuggle in with him. Now, finally he dislodged enough bricks to make a small gap which he could fit through, which would lead him to the outside. Of course, breaking free from his cell and into the outside was one thing but escaping off the island was another thing entirely.

The prison was located on the small island of Invercott, which was approximately 70 miles north east from the coast of Zanarkand. All that was there on the island was the prison and the only people that came to and left from it were either prisoners or the guards. It was a lonely and isolated place to be locked up and Tidus hated it.

He poked his head through the bars of his cell door to have one last check of the dark, gloomy corridor. The coast was clear, so very carefully he started to remove the loose bricks from the wall, trying to be as quiet as possible. He heard Lenny stir in the opposite cell, which startled Tidus slightly and he stopped what he was doing. He waited for a few minutes just staring into the blackness of Lenny's cell, but he did not appear, all was silent.

Tidus let out a small sigh of relief and went back to the bricks; only two more to remove. He took out the final bricks with ease and there before him was a little square shaped gap in the wall for him to squeeze through.

"You little bastard!" spat a low, raspy voice.

Tidus' heart skipped a beat and he turned to see the horrible guard, Drika standing outside his cell. Tidus yelped and without further hesitation, dived head and shoulders first into the gap. The gap was rather small and Tidus had to wriggle quite violently to get himself through. He heard Drika unlocking the door and charging into his cell and then felt the guard's rough, sweaty hand tug at his leg.

Tidus had managed to get his upper body through the gap, but now it was just Drika who was holding him back. He kicked his legs furiously making it hard for the guard to keep his grip. Tidus growled in frustration and with all his might located Drika's face and gave it one huge kick, triggering the guard to release his grip and sending Tidus flying through the gap and rolling down a steep rocky hill.

Tidus was being flung about all over the place as he hit rock after rock. He was going too fast that he could not stop himself, he just hoped that soon he would be at the bottom. However the hill was a high one and Tidus had still quite a way to go, but what he had not realised was the line of thorn bushes about half way down the hill, which Tidus went crashing into, bringing him to a halt.

The prisoner wailed in pain. He was covered in blood from head to toe, but he knew he had to somehow get up and keep on going. He looked up towards the top of the hill and now the prison was just a black splodge from where he was. Slowly and steadily, he got himself to his feet, placing a hand on the ground to support his balance on the steep hill. Cautiously, he started to shuffle his way down.

"Oh bollocks!" a voice cursed. Tidus darted his focus back up the hill, where the voice had come from. It was hard to see in the dark, but Tidus could just make out that fat Drika had tried to force his way through the small gap in the wall and had got himself stuck.

Tidus burst into quiet laughter. "Ahh, I do love karma," he chuckled to himself.

He glanced towards the bottom of the hill to see a tiny beach of pebbles, which joined up with the calm sea. He was extremely thankful for the placidity of the water tonight; this would make it easier for him to swim. However, the waters around Invercott were full of all sorts of dangerous creatures, which Tidus knew fully well, but this was a risk he was willing to take. He continued shuffling his way down the hill and his determination to escape and the adrenaline racing around his body blocked out the immense pain his body was in.

When finally reaching the bottom he clambered onto the pebbles making a bit of a din. "Hey, stop right there you brute!" a voice yelled.

Tidus panicked and looked up; he saw the silhouette of a guard rapidly making his way down the hill with a huge shotgun in hand. Tidus guessed that the guard heard the entire racket he made when rolling down the hill and crashing into the thorn bushes. The guard also probably bumped into Drika, still corked tight in the wall's tiny gap, who told him that Tidus was on the run.

Without further hesitation, Tidus dashed into the sea and began swimming as fast as he could. He heard the thunderous shots of the guard's gun, a bullet scraped passed his back viciously ripping a bit of skin. Tidus let out a cry, but it did not stop him swimming. The guard made another shot, but this one missed by a few feet sending a huge splash all over Tidus.

As he swam further away from the island, it made it harder for the guard to make a hit and soon as there were no more shots to be heard, Tidus figured he had given up. He slowed his pace a little, but was still moving at a relative speed. He knew he was being incredibly optimistic to think he could make the 70 mile stretch to Zanarkand, but where else was there for him to go?

Suddenly he felt something pull at his leg from underwater, he tried to shake it free, but its grip tightened. Some sort of tentacle was wrapping fast around his leg and before he knew it, he was yanked underwater. He struggled and struggled but it was no use, he was being pulled deeper and soon felt the pressure on his ears. His eyes were open and although the water made his vision blurry, he could make out that his attacker was a giant black octopus.

Another tentacle whipped around his chest and slowly began to crush him. Tidus thought his time was up, there was surely no way he could escape this one alive. He wearily looked up and noticed how far away the water's surface was, he must have been at least forty metres deep. He then noticed a curious grey blob hovering about twenty metres above him, it was about the size of a shark, but it certainly did not move like one. Before he could think about it any more, another monstrous tentacle drove into his head, knocking Tidus completely out.

* * *

Everything was black. The last thing Tidus saw was a huge octopus tentacle coming right for him. Was he alive? Or was he right now in the afterlife? He began to hear faint voices, he began to feel something soft beneath him. Feeling returned to his body and his eyes wanted to open.

The voices became clearer. "Captain! Captain! He's waking up!" a nasal voice chirped excitedly.

Tidus heard the rushing of heavy footsteps beside him and his eyes gradually opened. He was lying on a bed under a thick blanket with two figures leaning over him, "Hello, did you have a nice sleep?" the nasal voice asked. This voice came from a man on Tidus' right, who was a muscular figure with pale white skin. His eyes were bright blue and he had a very shiny bald head. He wore a tight fitting black vest top, with torn and rugged looking burgundy trousers. He was not exactly the most handsome of fellows Tidus had ever seen.

The figure on Tidus' left was a man dressed as a pirate; with a white shirt, black open waist coat, baggy trousers, sturdy black boots and a rather impressive pirate hat on his head. His skin was slightly darker than the other man's and he had a neat little goatee on his face. He was a slightly stocky build, but it seemed to suit him.

"Welcome back sleepy head," the pirate said. He had a surprisingly feminine voice – it was slightly higher than Tidus expected.

"Where am I?" a weary Tidus asked. "And who are you?" He reached his right hand up to rub his face, but a simple move like that sent waves of pain down his body, he was bruised all over.

"No time for conversation," said the pirate firmly. "You need some more rest…you're bloody lucky your point shaving ass is alive!"


	2. Chapter 2

Tidus' weary eyes opened. He was still in the bed with the thick blanket and still in the exact same room as he was before when he last woke up. This time, however, there was nobody around, he was all alone. He sat himself upright on the bed to get a proper look at his surroundings.

The floor was made of light brown planks of wood tightly lined up together, whereas the walls were of a dark, red carpet material patterned with small golden anchors. The ceiling was plain white with a small circular light attached in the centre, giving off a cosy, warm glow.

The back of the bed, on which he lay, was against the wall and on either side of him were small, square shaped bedside tables. The one on his left had a framed photograph of a woman upon it. Tidus picked up the frame and studied the picture.

The woman, whoever she was, looked gorgeous. She had a slim face, soft creamy skin and stunning long, wavy red hair. She seemed to be looking directly at Tidus with glistening hazel eyes and a big smile on her face.

The door, placed directly opposite the end of the bed, began to rattle. The door was of the same light, brown, wooden material of the floor and it stuck out like a sore thumb against the dark red wall. It flung open, and there in the doorway was the pirate, the same one Tidus saw beforehand. He stared blankly at Tidus and then saw the picture he was holding and gasped.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," the pirate said firmly. "Rule number one on this ship…you don't touch my stuff. He marched over to Tidus and snatched away the picture and then took great care placing it back on the bedside table.

"Yeah, don't touch the captain's stuff!" a nasal voice declared. This came from the muscular, bald guy, who was standing in the doorway. Tidus remembered seeing him before as well.

"S, s, sorry," stuttered a tired and puzzled Tidus.

"Forgiven," responded the pirate plainly. He glanced over at the bald man, "Andre, come in and shut the door."

The bald man did as he was told.

"Well, well, well…Tidus, the blitz ball star…I never thought I'd have you on my ship," the pirate stated. Although he was being quite intimidating right now, Tidus could not help but realise that the pirate was actually quite a handsome, dapper fellow. His dark, brown eyes, his soft voice and round, feminine face were all very charming features indeed.

"Now," continued the pirate. "You probably have a lot of questions in your head that you want answered, but let me tell ya…the conversation we are about to have will be a hell of a lot easier, if you keep your mouth shut…understood?"

Tidus nodded.

"Yeah…keep quiet!" The bald man chimed in.

The pirate sat down at the end of the bed by Tidus' feet. "I'm Captain Bernie, but I like to be addressed as Captain." He then pointed at the bald man, "This is Andre…second in command."

"And I like to be addressed as co-captain!" Andre declared.

Captain Bernie lifted an eyebrow. "No…you can just call him Andre."

Andre seemed a bit disappointed at this, but did not protest.

"Now..." the captain continued to Tidus. "Like you, everybody on this ship is a criminal on the run from the law and we have managed to keep our identity pretty secret…but I'm worried…you see now we have you, who not only recently escaped from Invercott, but also is a frickin' famous blitz ball star, I'm concerned that someone will find us out."

"Our identity could be revealed!" cut in Andre.

Bernie sighed in annoyance. "Andre! If you paraphrase everything I say, I may just have to kill you!"

Andre sunk his head. "Sorry Captain."

Tidus found already that this was a lot to take in, considering he had only just woken up a few minutes ago. "Wait…so…why am I here exactly?" he asked.

"Hey, what did I say?" snapped Bernie. "No talking."

"Oh, right…sorry," responded Tidus.

The captain got himself up from the bed and started slowly striding around the room with his hands behind his back. "To answer your question…you're here because I am simply doing a favour for a friend…your jail friend, Lenny. He knew you were escaping and he told me to come pick you up, as there was no way you were going to make that 70 mile stretch of water."

Tidus lifted an eyebrow. "What? How did Lenny know I was escaping? And how did he get messages to you, when he's in jail?"

Bernie rolled his eyes. "Geez! You're not very good at this 'being silent' thing are you?" he said plainly.

"Oh shit!" cursed Tidus. "Sorry."

"Anyway…Lenny is a magician…or a wizard…or a…actually I don't know what the fuck he is, but I do know that Lenny can read minds and transport messages into other people's minds and…on a really good day, he can control one's mind."

Tidus was impressed. He had know idea Lenny could do all those things.

Andre, now standing in the corner of the room with his hands on his hips smiled. "There's no keeping secrets from Lenny."

Bernie nodded. "There certainly isn't." His focus returned to Tidus. "So…be thankful for Lenny, and be thankful that he is a good friend of mine, otherwise I would have happily let you die in the giant octopus' clutches."

Tidus felt a little bit uncomfortable at that comment, he figured that, for whatever reason, Captain Bernie had taken a disliking to him. "But…how did you save me?" asked Tidus.

"Do you remember that grey thing you saw before the octopus smacked you round the head?"

Tidus nodded slowly.

"Well, that was our small submarine we have attached at the bottom of this ship – we use it only for emergencies…"

"And we have a sweet little rocket launcher attached to it!" exclaimed Andre excitedly. "We blast that ugly octopus mother fucker right in the head!"

Bernie nodded. "That was probably Invercott Island's best guard and we killed it…ha!" The Captain smiled to himself. "But oh word!" His smile now dropped. "It was incredibly dangerous for us to be so near Invercott Island…that's why we came for you in the submarine, so we weren't spotted! I am never doing a favour like that again!" He darted an unpleasant look at Tidus. "Lenny had to literally plead with me to do it."

Tidus nervously swallowed and shifted awkwardly in his bed. Fortunately the tension was soon broken by a ronso charging into the room holding a radio. "Captain! Captain!" he called. His voice was very low and had a slight African twang to it. The ronso was a tall, athletic build with white fur. His dreadlocks, which were tied up in a pony tail and his scruffy looking goatee on his chin were both of a light blue colour. His eyes were covered by some chunky white brimmed shades, he was topless, but on his legs were some baggy black trousers rolled up to the knees, held up by a red coloured belt.

"What is it Rocky?" asked Captain Bernie.

"It's Mr. Tidus! He's on the radio!" responded Rocky the ronso in a rather frantic manner.

"What?" spouted Tidus, as he shot off the bed, only realising just now that all he wore was his boxers. His disgusting prison overalls had been taken from him.

"Turn it up Rocky," said Andre. Rocky turned up the volume and all four of them gathered around the radio listening intently.

_Breaking news! Former blitz ball superstar of the Zanarkand Abes, Tidus Zanar, has disappeared after recently escaping from prison. After losing a game against the Ronso Fangs, Tidus was found guilty of racketeering charges, banning him from blitz ball and being punished with a five year sentence in Invercott Island's prison. After only serving just a year and a half of that sentence, Tidus managed to break free from his cell, via a small gap he created in the wall. He outran the guards and made it to the water and started to swim. A guard tried to shoot at him but he was too fast and that was the last time he was seen._

_Police say it is highly likely that Tidus is dead, being killed either by dangerous sea creatures or death by drowning. Police are planning to send down underwater search parties to see if they can find his body. They are giving a one hundred thousand gil reward to anybody who can bring Tidus to them, dead or alive._

* * *

In the Thunder Plains, president of Spira, Lord Seymour was also listening to the radio. Seymour had a bit of a makeover once he became a president a few years ago. He got rid of that ridiculous hairdo and had it cut to his shoulders and dyed jet black. He also bought a vast array of new suits and today he was wearing his grey pinstripe suit with an open neck white shirt.

"Did you hear that Mr. President?" said Bang, a muscular purple creature with a massive jaw and unstylish high top hair cut. He was Seymour's body guard and always dressed in a black suit, black tie and shades. "Sounds like Tidus could be dead," he chirped.

Seymour brushed his hair back. "But it hasn't been proven!" he snapped.

"Wha?" responded Bang. He was not the most intelligent of creatures.

"Tidus is alive…I can just sense it," muttered Seymour.

* * *

_A couple of years ago….._

It was the big final match in the blitz ball championship…The Zanarkand Abes versus The Ronso Fangs. The Abes were up 15 to 9, the whole team was playing well, particularly their star player, Tidus Zanar.

The half time horn blew and the teams went back into their allocated changing rooms. The Abes' Coach patted all his players on the back, "Good game so far lads! Now let's keep this up!"

After a few minutes of rest and pep talking in the changing rooms, the teams made their way back into the pool. Tidus was the last one out of the changing room, as the rest of the team had excitedly rushed back into the stadium because they loved the cheers from the crowd.

Tidus jogged down the corridor leading to the pool, but half way down he was interrupted by a voice.

"Ahem!"

Tidus turned around and to his surprise saw Seymour leaning against the wall. 'Where the hell did he come from?' Tidus thought.

"Hello Tidus," said Seymour with a devious tone. "Nice game so far eh?"

Tidus sighed. "What do you want Seymour!" he snapped.

Seymour lifted a finger. "Now, now that's 'Mr. President' to you, Tidus."

Tidus rolled his eyes. "What do you want…_Mr. President?"_

Seymour folded his arms. "I have a lot of money riding on this game…" He was interrupted by a funny noise coming from the changing rooms. The two of them looked down the corridor only to see a small robotic toy marching toward them. "What the hell is that?" exclaimed the president.

Tidus smiled. "It's a gift Yuna gave to me…it's cool isn't it."

"No!" spat Seymour and he kicked the toy down the corridor. Tidus was hurt to see his gift get damaged. "Now, where was I?" continued the president. "Ah yes! As I was saying I have a lot of money riding on this game and I can assure you that I haven't placed it on the Abes!"

Tidus lifted an eyebrow. "Now, why doesn't that surprise me?"

Seymour smirked. "But you see Tidus, I really can't afford to lose this money and the only way to prevent me doing so, is if the Zanarkand Abes lose."

Tidus laughed. "No way! Get prepared to lose all your money because I'm not doing it!"

"You do realise Tidus that if you don't obey to this, I can take everything away from you…I can take away blitz ball, I can take away Yuna, I can take away your friends…"

"And how exactly are you going to do that?" exclaimed Tidus.

Seymour laughed evilly. "I am the President, I can do whatever I want to!" Once their conversation finished, Tidus hated making his way back into the pool. In order to have a peaceful life, or so he thought, he had to throw this game. Therefore, when the second half began, Tidus began to suddenly miss passes and miss shots.

"What the hell are you doing?" his team mates were yelling, but he ignored the comments and continued to play poorly.

The Abes lost to the Fangs with the score 20:16, but of course, everybody grew suspicious about the sudden turn around in the game. In particular, everybody had grown suspicious of Tidus' terrible play in the second half.

Once he was accused of racketeering, he was taken to court, and although Tidus protested that it was President Seymour who was behind it all, no-one believed him. Everybody knew that the blitz ball star had a personal grudge against Seymour, so the jury thought he was just making it all up. Instead they believed that Tidus was involved with a couple of Zanarkand gangsters, who happened to be at the game. The gangsters had infamously been involved in dodgy dealings before, so the jury thought it perfectly plausible that they were the reason behind Tidus' point shaving.

Once the blitz ball player was sent to jail, Tidus realised that Seymour had set out to make Tidus' life a living hell, whether he had won or lost that game. Not only was his life now a complete misery, he had now earned himself a criminal record, which would haunt him forever.

"You'll fucking pay for this Seymour!" Tidus muttered to himself, as he curled up into a ball in the corner of his cell.


	3. Chapter 3

After hearing the news on the radio, Tidus was relieved that the police did not know of his whereabouts…not yet anyway. He was also still trying to take in everything that Captain Bernie told him.

During his time in jail, he had grown very close to Lenny and he knew that he owed it to Lenny big time, now that he knew what the guy had done for him. He also knew that he owed it to the Captain and Andre for saving his life. However, all of that would have to come later, as for now his biggest priority was to get off this darn ship.

However, this was not an easy task. The ship was in the middle of the ocean, far away from land, and the waters of Spira could be very dangerous at times, as Tidus had already experienced. He certainly did not want another encounter with a giant, black octopus!

Somehow, he needed to get off this ship, find Seymour and kill him, or if not kill him do some serious damage to him. Preferably he needed to do all this before Seymour's wedding in a few months time. President Seymour was marrying Yuna and the thought of that devious bastard with his hands all over Yuna made Tidus sick. He had a few ideas of how to escape from the ship, he would just need to do what he did in jail, and that was to be persistent, and most importantly patient.

The former blitz ball star was sat on the side of his bed reading an old, dusty book he had found abandoned under his mattress. It was called, _The Art of Theatre_…this was nothing that interested him; it was just something to do to pass the time. The captain had given him some clothes as well. It was nothing fashionable; just a plain white t-shirt, blue long shorts and some white trainers.

As Tidus continued to read, he came to a new chapter called _Street Theatre: Performing to the Outside World_. Tidus paused and looked up from the book. A thought had suddenly struck him…he had not been outside yet, he had not explored the outside deck on the ship, in fact, he had not explored the ship at all! The rooms he was familiar with were only his bedroom and the bathroom next door. If he wanted any chance of escaping, he was going to have to know the ship a bit more. He did not even know how big or small the boat was!

He shoved the book back under his mattress, approached the door, switched off the light and left the room. He was now in a long, dark, gloomy corridor. The bathroom door was to his right, but had no interest in going in there now. He slowly began moving on tip toe and noticed a long line of doors either side of the corridor. They were all of a light brown wooden material; the same as his bedroom door. For that reason, Tidus assumed they were all lead to the bedrooms of the other crew members.

Once he reached the corridor's end, he walked through a dark, brown set of double doors, which lead him to a small hall way. He had set of stairs to his left, a door opposite him labelled 'engine room' and a door to the right of that labelled 'private.'

Tidus lifted an eyebrow. "Hmm, I wonder what's in there?" he whispered to himself. He looked around, checking the coast was clear and to his delight, all was quiet. He made his way to the 'private' door, carefully placing his hand on the black, metallic handle and then cautiously entered the room.

It was a tiny space and a dull one too. The walls, floor and ceiling were all a murky grey colour and a single light bulb, which flickered on and off, hung from the ceiling. A large round table in the centre of the room took up most of the space, and upon it were several pieces of scrap paper, all of which had sketches upon them of a building. Tidus thought this odd. He did not understand what was so private about this room.

He vaguely browsed through all the sketches and as he picked them up off the table one by one, to his surprise he began to reveal a huge blue print of a building. Tidus guessed that the sketches on the table had been purposely placed as they were to keep the blue print hidden.

He studied it for awhile; he felt he recognised the building's layout on the blue print. He had a feeling he had been there before, but he could not quite put his finger on it. Then his eyes widened, as he noticed something in the corner of the print. It was a picture of Seymour looking glum, as he always did, but someone quite amusingly had scribbled all over it. They had given Seymour some fangs and goofy glasses and the words, 'I am a twat' were written on his forehead. Tidus smiled at this and it was comforting to know that there were obviously other people on this ship, who disliked Seymour as much as he did.

Suddenly, Tidus heard footsteps coming down the stairs in the hallway outside. He realised that he had better move. He hastily placed all the sketches back on the table and dashed out of the door. He saw a shadow appearing on the stairs and the footsteps gradually getting louder, as the figure made their descent. Tidus did not want to wait around to see who it was, so instead he raced back to his own room; running back down the gloomy corridor. He could not really make sense of what he found in the 'private' room, but whatever it was, he clearly was not meant to have seen it.

Once reaching his room, he slammed the door behind him. He was panting heavily from the sprint and he felt the adrenaline pumping inside of him. He wiped his brow and looked towards his bed and noticed something was different. The picture of the woman he had on his bedside table, which according to Captain Bernie, he was not allowed to touch, had gone.

'That's funny,' Tidus thought to himself. 'It was there before I left the room.' Before he could think on it any more, he suddenly felt something metallic jab into the left side of his neck.

"What do you think you're playing at? Why were you sneaking around in the private room eh?" It was Captain Bernie holding a gun at Tidus' neck.

Tidus raised his hands and spoke nervously. "I, I, I…didn't mean anything by it…I w, w, w, was just looking around!"

"Just looking around, my arse!" spat Bernie. "You're secretly a spy ain't ya? You're planning to get us all locked up!"

"No, no!" protested Tidus desperately. "I promise you, I'm not!" He felt the gun drill deeper into his neck. "I was just being nosy."

"Hmph! A little too nosy!" exclaimed the Captain.

"I'm s, s, sorry! It won't happen again!"

"It better not!" With those words, Bernie took away the gun from Tidus' neck. "But you do realise, Tidus," he continued. "If you try and escape from this ship, I will have to kill you, because who knows what your big mouth will say to the police."

Tidus rubbed his neck. That was definitely going to leave a bruise. He realised he had just put himself in the shit; for now Captain Bernie seemed convinced he was a spy. However, before anything else could be said, Rocky the ronso entered the room. "Good evening gentlemen, sorry to interrupt, but dinner is served."

"Thank you Rocky," said Bernie plainly. He then glared at Tidus, "I'm keeping a close eye on you!" he muttered.

A huge dining table had been placed on the outside deck. It had been awhile since Tidus tasted some fresh, outside air and he let out a pleasant sigh, when he felt the gentle breeze brush across his face. It was a warm evening and the sea was calm, the ship had been anchored and every now and again, one could feel it bob up and down on the small waves.

Tidus had to come up a number of stairs to get to the outside deck, and now he stood upon the wide set of stairs that had lead him to his destination. He was facing the bow of the long ship and the dining table had been placed right in the centre. Behind him was a small upper deck, where the ship's wheel was, which could be reached by the narrow sets of stairs either side of him. Just above him, attached to the wall of the upper deck, Tidus noticed a red and white life ring. On the white bits was the name, 'Samantha.' He assumed that was the name of the ship.

The rest of the crew had already taken their seats at the table, with Captain Bernie at the head of it. There were ten crew members on either side and in Tidus' opinion; they were the funniest looking group of people/creatures he had ever seen. There was a short, fat dwarf with an overgrown beard, a red-skinned and spotty dragon with one and a half horns, a slim androgynous looking person with dark blonde hair and hazel eyes and many other weird and wonderful beings.

There was an empty seat in between a green, feathered chocobo and a black minotaur and opposite the bearded dwarf. Tidus assumed this was where he was meant to go, so he slowly made his way to the seat. As he did though, the entire crew stared at him, some of them held blank faces, others frowned.

He sat down and glanced at the meal; sausages, mash and mushy peas. It was certainly nothing fancy, but it actually looked rather good. Everybody continued to glare at him, but it was the green chocobo that broke the silence, "Sweetie," it said to Tidus in quite a patronising tone. It was a female, Tidus could tell by the voice. "You look awful," she sniggered.

The entire crew started to laugh quite nastily. Tidus had forgotten about how much he had injured himself during his escape from Invercott and although what the chocobo had said was harsh, she was probably right. He put a hand to his face and he could feel the numerous scars and cuts, he figured he must have looked awful.

"Hey Tidus!" grunted the red, spotted dragon from across the table. "That game you threw…I had big money on the Abes! If it weren't for you, I'd be real rich right now!" The dragon picked up some of his mushy peas and threw it into Tidus' face. The entire crew laughed again.

Tidus started to get a little pissed off with all this. He was being pushed around for no reason. He started to wish that Bernie and Andre had let him get killed by the octopus. Rather that, than live on a pirate ship with this cruel crew.

"Can we kill him, Captain?" growled the fat dwarf. A few other crew members cheered at this.

"No…no one is being killed…not yet anyway," responded the captain.

"Oh, come on Captain!" pleaded the minotaur. "You heard what the police said…they'll give us one hundred thousand gil if we bring him to them…dead or alive!"

"It's tempting, but no," replied the captain again.

"Is he a spy, Captain?" spat the dragon. Tidus' fists clench, he felt like seriously hurting something or someone.

Captain Bernie shrugged. "He could be…I certainly have my suspicions." There were then some nasty glares shot at Tidus and that was the final straw.

Tidus shot up from his chair and banged his hands on the table. "I am not a fucking spy! Alright?" he yelled at the top of his voice. Everything went silent, the crew were taken back and Bernie cautiously put a hand on his gun. "Now I don't know what it is you guys have against me! If you hate me so much, I'll happily leave this ship, and trust me, I'm not going to spurt anything about you guys to the police, because I quite frankly, couldn't give a shit about what you guys do! The only man I give a shit about is President fucking Seymour!"

The crew looked at each other. Captain Bernie's frown deepened.

Tidus resumed with his angry speech. "Believe what you like! But that man is the reason behind everything I did. He ordered me to shave those points!"

There was some gasping at this and surprised faces.

"That man has made my life a fucking misery! And the only thing I want to do since I escaped from jail, is to get my revenge on him!"

"He's telling the truth, Captain!" a bubbly voice chirped. This came from the blonde haired, androgynous looking person. Tidus was relieved to know that at least someone believed him.

Bernie took his hand away from his gun and his face softened slightly. "Would you like to sit back down Tidus, and we can talk some more about your revenge plan?"

Tidus was tired of talking; he was tired of trying to explain himself. "No, Captain...if it's ok with you I just need some rest. I've lost my appetite."

The crew looked at the Captain, yet Bernie did not protest and just nodded. "If that's what you want Tidus."


	4. Chapter 4

Tidus lay in his bed. The light was off, but he knew he was not going to get much sleep. His eyes were wide open, he was still fully dressed. A few hours had gone by since he left the dinner table and although he was fed up of this ship already, he had a feeling that he may have got through to Captain Bernie and his crew.

He thought it was odd though. Literally, once the androgynous blonde head said, 'He's telling the truth, Captain,' they all seemed convinced with it. However, he was not going to argue, because after all, he was telling the truth, there were no lies in his speech whatsoever.

There was a knock at the door. Tidus sighed and rolled his eyes, "Come in," he groaned. The door opened. It was Rocky.

"The Captain wants to see you in his room," the ronso murmured. He looked a bit ashamed of himself.

Tidus lazily sat himself up on his bed. "Ok, I'm coming."

"Sorry about earlier," grunted the ronso.

Tidus shook his head. "Don't worry, it's fine."

Rocky took Tidus down the corridor and stopped at the last door on the right. Tidus was expecting the Captain's room to be quite fancy and luxurious, but when Rocky opened the door, it was quite a disappointment. It was the exact same layout and size of his room. The only difference was a wide oak bookshelf along the wall on their left.

"Through here," said Rocky, as he approached the bookshelf grabbed its side and effortlessly opened it like a door to reveal another set of stairs. It was only then Tidus realised that it was not a book shelf at all, it was a secret door made to look like one. He followed Rocky down a long set of stairs until finally, they reached a pair of double doors at the bottom. The ronso swung them open and the pair of them walked through into much bigger and more impressive room than the others.

The walls and floor were made of the dark red, anchored pattern carpet material, whereas the ceiling was made of the smooth light brown wood. There was a marble dresser at the other side of the room with an impressive, golden framed, circular mirror upon it and in the upper corner was a picture – it was the same picture of the woman Tidus had had on his bedside table.

The dresser was also decorated with random bits of expensive looking jewellery scattered across its marble surface. Beneath this, was a set of draws and they were all open and filled with all sorts of clothes. Tidus decided he would not inspect further, as he believed it was an invasion of privacy to roam around in someone's draws….

To the left of the dresser was a bookshelf and Tidus could tell this one was real. Next to that, was a gun cabinet with a shotgun, sniper rifle and Ak rifle in it. Tidus shifted a little nervously when he saw this. To the right of the dresser was yet another set of double doors, but there was a thick, red, velvet rope in front of them, so Tidus guessed that no-one was allowed to go in there – much like the room he saw earlier labelled 'private.'

"Nice to see you again," a voice chirped. Tidus looked to his left and there sat Captain Bernie at an oak desk with papers, a lamp and several bottles of alcohol upon it. He sat in a black leather, swivel chair and behind him was a vast window looking out into the underwater world. Tidus figured this must be the lowest deck in the ship, if it was beneath the water's surface.

"Please…have a seat." The Captain pointed to the corner of the room, where a low wooden table and a few bean bags dotted around it was placed. Tidus remained silent and did as he was told. "Rocky, get the usual lads, tell them to come in here." The ronso nodded and made his way out of the room.

Captain Bernie, still at his desk, picked up a few bottles of alcohol. "Would you like a drink, Tidus?"

Tidus waved his hand. "Oh, no thanks."

Bernie lifted his eyebrow. "Oh, come on! Don't be such a pussy. A nice bit of dark rum will do you nicely." He threw a small bottle full of rum towards Tidus, who luckily caught it.

Rocky burst into the room once again and behind him followed Andre, the dwarf, the dragon and the androgynous looking person, all of whom were present at the dining table earlier in the evening. All of them had a bottle of alcohol on them, some of which had been consumed already. They all greeted Tidus in a friendly manner and some of them decently apologised for their behaviour towards him earlier. They all joined him on the bean bags in the corner of the room.

"Once we realised you were for real and weren't a spy, we all felt quite stupid and I'm sorry you were tricked by Seymour…the bastard," the androgynous looking person said.

Tidus raised an eyebrow. "But…how were you so convinced so quickly that I was telling the truth."

The androgynous being smiled, "Because, I'm an angel…I know people well and I can tell if people are lying or not."

Tidus was impressed. "Wow! I've never met an angel before, I've heard a lot about them."

The angel seemed flattered. "Well, I am glad to have changed that. I'm Frankie by the way…oh and you probably can't figure out my gender, but don't be freaked out, it's because I don't have one. All angels are androgynous. That's why we have uni-sex names."

Andre, who was clearly quite tipsy, as we was swaying a little in his seat, chuckled. "Because of that, we're not quite sure how Frankie pees! Ha!"

"Oh shut up Andre, you drunken dumbass!" snapped Frankie. Andre, did not take any notice and just laughed.

"Alright children, let's have no fighting," sighed Captain Bernie, as he walked over to join them on the bean bags, with a bottle of coconut rum in hand. He slumped into his seat in between Tidus and Andre. "Sorry about earlier Tidus," he said. "If only we knew about your past experience with Seymour, we would not have been so hard on ya."

Tidus lifted an eyebrow. "Why's that exactly?"

Captain Bernie swayed a little and his words were ever so slightly slurred. You could tell the alcohol was getting to his head. "Because…as I explained before…everybody on this ship is a criminal…well, we're not really criminals…it's just that…we've been labelled as criminals by that fucker man, Seymour." There were some growls and muttered curses about Seymour from the others. "Do you remember when Seymour was running for President? Do you remember all those marches that were going on around Spira? The peaceful protestors who got attacked by Seymours' men?" asked Andre

Tidus took a swig of rum and nodded.

"Well…that was us," murmured Captain Bernie.

Tidus' eyes widened. "Really? Wow…I remember that well…didn't some of you guys get killed?"

There was a short silence and the rest of the crew shifted awkwardly in their seats. "Yeah…we lost some…good people," replied Bernie avoiding eye contact with anybody.

"We did not deserve any of it!" snapped Andre.

Bernie then looked Tidus right in the eye. "We wanna get back at that prick, Seymour! Everybody on this ship has had a bad run in with Seymour and we all want our well deserved revenge."

Frankie the angel patted Tidus on the back. "And now we know that you're on our side, we'd be more that happy for you to join in with our plan."

"Plan?" queried Tidus and then taking another big swig of his drink.

"Our plan," announced Captain Bernie, "Is to assassinate President Seymour."

Tidus nearly spat out his drink, whilst smiles crept to other crew members' faces. "And how exactly do you intend to do that?" asked Tidus.

There was a short silence. All eyes were on Captain Bernie, "Well…I have not quite figured that out yet," he said. "But…I do know that I want it to be big…in the public eye…it needs to be on the day of Seymour's wedding…we need to…blow it up! Yes, that's it! We need to blow up the Besaid Temple, whilst Seymour gets married; killing him and all his henchmen!"

There was a small cheer from the crew, yet Tidus remained silent. He now realised that the blue prints he saw earlier in the private room were in fact of The Besaid Temple, which is where he first met Yuna. "Hold on!" he exclaimed, "What about Yuna? Is she going to be in the building when you blow it up?"

"Ah shit! I forgot that you're shagging Yuna," mumbled Captain Bernie. "Don't worry…we'll somehow get her out of the building before the explosion takes place."

Frankie, realising Tidus' anxiety cut into the conversation. "Don't worry Tidus, I think we all need to think over this plan a little bit more."

Captain Bernie gave a hiccup and smiled. "We need guns…weapons, coz the ones we have are shit!"

"We could steal some from Shepington, Captain!" chimed Andre. "Used to work there a long time ago – only the finest weaponry gets made there!"

Rocky the ronso grunted. "The only trouble is…Shepington is right next to Zanarkand, which is going to be crawling with cops all on the hunt for Tidus."

Bernie clumsily stood up, swayed a little, then raised his bottle of rum in the air. "We are pirates! Since when were we afraid of the law? We need weapons, therefore we go to Shepington!"


	5. Chapter 5

In the heart of the Thunder Plains was Seymour's mansion. The President of Spira was sitting on a big, red arm chair in his enormous lounge. He was sat by the fire and dressed in a burgundy dressing gown with his bare feet propped up on a small wooden stool.

Bang, Seymour's body guard, entered the room carrying a cushion with both hands. Upon the cushion lay a long, thick Cuban cigar, which Seymour had requested him to bring. Bang placed the cigar in the presidents' mouth and lit it up.

"So…," said Seymour, having a puff from the cigar. "What is the latest on the little shit, Tidus?"

Bang took a deep breath. "Still no sign of him boss…we've searched the waters around Invercott Isle, we've been up and down the coast of Zanarkand and nothing…not even a trace of him."

Seymour sighed. "What about the boats?"

Bang lifted an eyebrow. "Boats?"

"Random boats on the water…Tidus could have been picked up by some local fisherman," replied Seymour.

Bang nodded his head. "Ah! Good point boss!"

There was a silence and Seymour shot a glare at him. "Well, what are you waiting for? Get the police to search every darn boat that's on the waters between Invercott and Zanarkand! I don't care how long it's going to take them! Just make sure they do it!"

Bang nodded his head frantically. "Yessir! Will do!" With those words, he clumsily scurried out of the room.

* * *

Back on the ship, Rocky was at the helm, but was feeling quite rough from their merry gathering the night before. Captain Bernie was stumbling around the upper deck in a baggy white t-shirt and boxer shorts trying to wake himself up and hoping the outside fresh air would cure his hangover.

Tidus, who was just wearing boxer shorts, was feeling quite sick. He dashed up the stairs to the upper deck, leant half his body over the side and puked. "Urgh! How much did drink last night?" he exclaimed in between sick moments.

Captain Bernie chuckled at this. "I dunno mate, but at least you know how to party like a real man!" Tidus was not impressed by that comment.

"I'd say we've got about a couple of hours before we reach Shepington," announced Rocky at the wheel.

"Good," chirped Captain Bernie. "Gives me time to get rid of the hangover and then change…or I could just stay in my boxers all day! Ha!"

Tidus, who had finally finished puking overboard, examined Captain Bernie. The guy had quite a feminine face, but now Tidus began noticing how feminine his legs were as well! They were smooth, shapely and clean shaven and Tidus could not help but think that Captain Bernie just might be gay…not that it mattered.

"Uh oh," gasped Rocky.

Bernie looked up at the ronso concerned. "What is it?"

Rocky was looking through a telescope and had spotted police speed boats on the horizon heading directly for them. "The police are coming for us!"

"Alright, whoa, let's just chill," responded Bernie. "Let's not sail away from them because then they will know something's up…instead we let them come on board and we act cool."

Rocky lifted an eyebrow. "Captain…I think you're still drunk."

The Captain smirked. "No, I'm not." He turned to Tidus, who too looked quite panicked. "Tidus…I suggest you hide somewhere."

Tidus nodded and ran back down the stairs onto the lower decks, hoping he would find a suitable hiding place forgetting all about the fact that he was still in his boxers.

"Rocky! Keep doing your thing, don't let her go too fast. We don't want to look in any way suspicious!" ordered Bernie.

The ronso nodded in return and then muttered under his breath, "Oh god Captain, I hope you know what you're doing!"

Soon, the whole crew were informed about the police approaching and everybody tried to remain calm as the Captain had ordered, however they were not doing too well. They were all running around like headless chickens, particularly Tidus, who was trying to find a place to hide. The Captain stumbled down the stairs onto the lower decks only to see his frantic crew running around all over the place. He rolled his eyes and sighed, "Would you guys just chill out?" he exclaimed. The crew stopped in their tracks and gormlessly looked up at their Captain. "Look…I know it's risky letting the police come here to inspect the boat, but if we can pull it off, they'll never bother us again!"

"You sure about that?" grunted Sparky the dragon.

"Of course I am!" boomed Bernie. He looked towards Tidus, "Now Tidus, beneath that tatty rug you're standing on is a trapped door, hide yourself in there and keep quiet." Tidus nodded and pulled the rug to the side and indeed there was a trapped door.

"And the rest of you," continued Bernie. "As much as I hate to do it, I'm gonna whack out Bernadette with Andre as my fisherman husband...so all I need you guys to do is just play it cool and don't act like criminals! So no pick-pocketing from the police or…setting their butts on fire! You hear me!"

"Yes sir!" the crew called together in unison.

Tidus had no idea what Captain Bernie was on about when he mentioned Bernadette, but he shrugged it off and crawled into the trapped door. This lead him into a small level in between the decks, which restricted him to lying on his stomach and having wriggle on his belly in order to move. It was pitch black and all he could hear were the heavy footsteps and muffled shouts of the crew above him.

He lay on smooth, polished wood which felt nice and cold against his bare skin. However, although the feeling was nice for now he could feel the temperature rising very slowly and he knew that the stuffiness of the confined space would soon cause him great discomfort.

* * *

It seemed like Tidus lay there for ages and the restricted space was indeed now very hot, as he had predicted. He desperately wanted to pop his head up through the trapped door for a quick breath of fresh air, but it would be a dangerous move, as he had no clue whether the police were on the ship yet. The noise had died down significantly above him and he started to think the police had been and gone and the crew had forgotten all about him. The heat increased and despite the fact he was only in his boxers, Tidus was sweating all over and he could not take the confinement any longer. Without further hesitation he slowly wriggled his body so he was lying directly below the trapped door and then used his arms and head to prop it open.

The rug was still upon the door, but it was light enough for Tidus to continue lifting. Once the door was fully open, he wriggled his way out of the space and onto the wooden floor of the deck. He smiled and sighed with relief when the cool breeze hit his face. He looked around to see no-one there, yet heard voices coming from the top of the wide stairs leading to the upper outside deck.

He slowly got himself to his feet and quietly made his way up the stairs. The voices got a little clearer as he approached; he could just about hear the softness of Captain Bernie's voice and the nasally Andre. There were other voices, which were closer, yet he did not recognise these.

Suddenly, Tidus stopped dead in his tracks and his heart skipped a beat. Standing at the top of the stairs, with their backs turned to Tidus, were four beefy looking police officers. They all wore baggy grey trousers tucked into black military boots and black, body armour vests. They were talking, saying things along the line that, 'President Seymour has ordered that they search all boats on sea around this area and if any crew member objects, they would be immediately arrested.'

Tidus surveyed the rest of the deck. The whole crew were out there looking quite nervous. However, there seemed to be no sign of Captain Bernie, despite the fact Tidus was sure he heard his voice.

At the opposite end of the deck, facing the police stood Andre and next to him a woman, whom Tidus did not think he had seen before. She had light, smooth skin and short, brown, curly hair. She wore a scruffy brown skirt with a murky green top. Despite her unattractive attire, she was actually quite a pretty woman – or perhaps 'handsome' was the word, as she had a cute, boyish look about her.

"We are sorry to interrupt your fishing expedition Captain Andre and Miss Bernadette. We won't take long, we'll search the ship as quick as we can," reassured one of the police officers.

The woman rolled her eyes. "Alright…if you must…we have nothing to hide," she replied.

Tidus' jaw dropped. The woman's voice was Captain Bernie's voice. Captain Bernie was a woman! Tidus looked closer and indeed saw all of Bernie's features on her; the soft round face, the hazel eyes, the broad shoulders and slim waist. Tidus now understood why Bernie appeared and sounded so feminine. Tidus felt so stupid, obviously the rest of the crew knew; how come Tidus did not see this earlier. Perhaps Captain Bernie was an angel, as Frankie had said angels are androgynous, but then looking at Bernie now, Tidus saw she was obviously a woman; a tomboyish woman with excellent skills in cross-dressing.

Bernie looked passed an officer's shoulder and caught eye contact with Tidus. Her eyes widened and Tidus instantly knew that was his cue to get back in that trapped door. However the shock of what he just had discovered was still upon him, causing him to slip and tumble rather noisily down the stairs. He yelped as he fell because all the cuts and bruises he had gained from his escape from Invercott were now starting to throb again. Bernie put a palm to her face, the police officers all turned around in unison to see Tidus sprawled on the floor at the bottom of the stairs.

"There's the little shit!" screamed one of the police officers.

"Get him!" another one yelled.

Three of the officers started to charge down the stairs, yet the fourth officer, a muscular black man with a bushy goatee remained still and instead pulled a smug little grin. He clapped his hands, rubbed his palms together, then shot his arms forward and from them came three laser blue rays which hit each police officer in the back.

Tidus, who still remained slightly dazed on the floor, nearly jumped out of his skin when he looked up to see the image of three fierce looking police officers about to pounce on him. The only thing was, they were not moving, not an inch, they had all frozen in mid air as if someone had hit the pause button on their remote controls.

Tidus slowly picked himself up, moaning at the pain he was in and rubbing his bruises. He carefully made his way around the frozen men, then heard a laugh at the top of the stairs, "The things I do for you, Tidus!" the voice chuckled.

Tidus looked up to see that the black policeman was in fact Lenny, his prison friend. Tidus was puzzled, "Lenny? What are you doing here?"

"Oh, nice to see you too Tidus," responded Lenny playfully. He gave Tidus the up and down look and smiled. "Well…even if you won't admit it, you're obviously happy to see me." Tidus lifted an eyebrow then looked down and to his shock realised, for some random reason, he had got a boner. His face turned crimson and he hastily picked up the rug to hide his nature.

"Hey! Who is this?" yelled Sparky who was on the deck with the rest of the crew. The dragon had pulled his sword out, pointing it at Lenny and ready to fight. Other crew members had thought the same thing and also started to pull out their weapons.

"Would you guys relax?" exclaimed Bernie. "This is my friend, Lenny I keep going on about…the sneaky bugger managed to escape from jail and help out us with this little police issue today…please put your weapons away." The crew did as they were told looking a little embarrassed.

"Good to see you again, Bernie," chirped Lenny.

Bernie smiled, "Good to see you too." The two of them kissed each other on the cheek. "Thank you for coming."

"No worries," replied Lenny. His tone then changed and a frown crept to his face, "You do realise that those guys won't be frozen for ever…the spell I used was quite a weak one…and even if we decide to kill them, security will tighten when they find three police officers missing and we will be found out about sooner or later."

Bernie nodded. "How long are they going to be frozen there for?"

"I give it about a day."

"Well…that's long enough to decide what we are going to do with them."

"YOU'RE A WOMAN!" exclaimed Tidus all of sudden.

Lenny lifted an eyebrow. "Tidus doesn't know?"

Bernie cleared her throat. "No, I never got around to telling him and he's just seen me dressed like this."

"Oh…well that's a little awkward."

"Captain! Shepington is on the horizon!" shouted Rocky at the helm.

"Fantastic! Keep to the course," she shouted back.

"Shepington!" bellowed Lenny. "You're going to Shepington? Are you crazy? That place is right next to Zanarkand, the place is going to be crawling with the police and Seymour's men!"

"We're going there to steal weapons for…you know…the big plan," chimed in Andre.

Lenny sighed and shook his head. "Bernie…I don't think this is a wise idea."

"I know it isn't…but if we keep her heads down, do the job quickly, it should be fine. Loads of boats go in and out of Shepington. As long as we don't mill around for too long, nobody will give us a second look."

"YOU'RE A WOMAN?" screeched Tidus once again.

Lenny briefly glanced over at the puzzled and distraught Tidus, "He still has not quite got over the fact that you're a woman, has he?"

Bernie smiled. "Nope, I don't think he has."

There was a short pause and then Lenny placed a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder. "I just hope you know what you're doing."

"Don't worry, I do," she then turned away and went to the edge of the ship to look down into the water. "At least I hope I do," she murmured to herself.

* * *

Later that day, Tidus had calmed down a bit and was now fully dressed in his white t-shirt, blue long shorts and white trainers. He was leaning over the edge looking at his reflection in the water. The sky was clear blue, it was a warm summer's day and the breeze was cool and gentle. He heard heavy footsteps approaching him behind and he turned to see Captain Bernie back in drag; the impressive pirate outfit with fake, yet so realistically looking facial hair stuck on her. She made a very handsome man and Tidus thought she actually made a better man than she did a woman.

"Sorry, I didn't tell you sooner…I was going to but then…I didn't know how you would take it," she said.

Tidus shrugged. "It's fine, I'm not gonna judge you…I'm fine with it. It was just such a surprise…you made…you make such a convincing man."

Captain Bernie smiled. "Thank you."

"So…if you don't mind me asking…why exactly do you do it? Do you wanna be a man? Get a sex change?"

Bernie laughed. "Oh God no…nothing like that. I just do it because…I like it…there's nothing more to it…I just like pretending to be a man."

Tidus nodded. "Fair enough." There was another short silence as the two of them enjoyed the breeze. "May I also ask…"

"Go on."

"Who is that woman with the red hair? I have seen several pictures of her on the ship."

Bernie suddenly looked a little awkward. "Oh…she's…no-one."

Tidus was about to say something else, but was interrupted by Rocky's bellowing voice. "Ten minutes away from Shepington…everybody stand by."

The crew immediately went into action and got the ropes ready to dock the ship. Bernie had abruptly left Tidus and got to work and it was at that moment he realised that he should be careful not to mention the woman in the picture again.


	6. Chapter 6

The ship was now very close to Shepington. It was a sweet, little town and quite the opposite to its busy, bustling neighbour, Zanarkand. Surrounding the town were tremendous, rural hill tops, which loomed its centre.

Captain Bernie stood next to Rocky at the helm. She was looking rather nervous, "Rocky…I am having second thoughts. We should anchor her up in this little cove just off to the left. There's a pathway to the town from there…it will just keep us hidden away from many eyes."

"But…Captain, there's no point in hiding now. The whole town has been able to see us for the past hour now," replied Rocky.

Bernie stroked her fake facial hair. "You're right…ok…sod it, we'll stick to the original plan."

In a watch tower upon one of the hills that looked over Shepington and the surrounding sea were two guards; one with a sniper rifle in hand, the other with binoculars. They were both suspiciously eyeing up this ship that was coming into Shepington's shore.

"What do you see?" the one with the sniper grunted

The one with binoculars was taking a close look. "I see a ronso at the helm and stood next to him a guy dressed as a pirate."

"It don't look like any fishing boat or tourist boat, especially with a fucking pirate on board…we should get some of the guys to check it out."

"You're right…I'll message them"

The sails on the ship were let loose giving it time to slow down before it approached the dock. The crew were lined up at the sides of the ship ready to tie her up.

Bernie took off her pirate hat; Her attire looked slightly more neutral without it and she thought this was best. She did not want to stick out like a sore thumb.

"Bernie!" called Lenny.

"Yeah."

"I advise you to have someone watching over the frozen policemen. Although, I said the spell would last a day, sometimes my calculations are not always correct."

Bernie raised an eyebrow. "What kind of wizard are you?"

"Hey!" protested Lenny. "Cut me some slack, I've been in jail for awhile…I'm a little out of practice."

"Alright…" Bernie looked over to Rocky who was now amongst the rest of the crew. "Rocky!" she called. "Stay here and watch over the frozen policemen would ya? We don't want any of them moving again and escaping."

The ronso nodded. "Yes Captain!"

* * *

Seymour sat upon a huge red arm chair in his library, which had several giant bookcases packed with hundreds of books of all shapes and sizes. He wore his grey, pinstripe suit and yet again was puffing leisurely on a thick cigar. On his lap, was a big open book – it was an encyclopaedia. Seymour was feeling unintelligent, so decided to increase his knowledge. All was quiet in the room, the only sound was the ticking of the grandfather clock which was set up against the wall behind where Seymour sat.

The double oak doors were at the opposite end of the room and suddenly Bang came charging through them completely disturbing the peace. It made Seymour jump so much, that his cigar fell right out of his mouth, and the burnt end landed right on his lap, scalding him a little and leaving a horrible black smudge on his fine suit.

"Ahh!" wailed Seymour in pain. "For God's sake Bang, whatever it is you're about to tell me, it better be good!"

"Sorry sir to disturb you!" responded Bang frantically. "But there's a ship, a suspicious one that's just harboured up at Shepington. I just got a call from the police chief telling me this."

Seymour growled in frustration. "That's it! A ship that looks suspicious! Oh big woop! I can't…"

Bang cut in. "Sir, sir, please, there's more. On the ship was Captain Bernie and his…her…its crew and it's very likely that they've got Tidus on board!"

Seymour shot off his chair. "You mean that ugly pirate transvestite and its crew are still alive? I thought we killed them!"

"Not all of them sir. We only managed to get a few of them the day of their big protest."

Seymour clenched his fists. "Alright…take me to Shepington."

Bang nodded. "Of course boss."

* * *

Tidus had borrowed a long coat, shades and a hat in an attempt to hide his identity and, in fact. most of the crew had done something to their appearance to make them look little bit less suspicious. With the exception of Rocky, the crew got off the ship.

They needed as many of them as possible as quite a big plan was in operation – they needed to steal lots of weapons not only from the shop, but also from the police. Although the shop sold many pistols - the good stuff was all owned by the police.

Once the crew were on the docks, they made their way to the town trying to look as casual as possible. Rocky, who was guarding the three frozen policemen watched them leave through a small porthole. He did not have a good feeling about this idea, and he could feel the butterflies frantically flying around in his stomach.

Lenny, who remained in his police outfit, walked along side the disguised Tidus. Captain Bernie followed close behind them with the rest of the crew. Two big policemen stood at the exit gate of the docks eyeing all of them suspiciously.

"Ah shit!" muttered Tidus under his breath.

"Just play it cool," Lenny whispered in response.

"Hold it right there!" exclaimed one of the policeman. The whole crew did as they were told.

"Who are you? What is your business in Shepington?" the policeman continued.

The other policeman was shooting nasty looks at Lenny. "Since when did Seymour hire black police officers?

There were few shocked gasps among the crew at that comment, but Lenny made no reaction and held a firm face. "Well…surely my skin colour has nothing to do with my ability as a police officer," he responded calmly.

One of the policemen snickered and said, "Ha! But the thing is…you're not a police officer are you Lenny?" Lenny's eyes widened and he could feel the panic stirring up inside his stomach. The policemen in unison held up their guns to the crew. "We know who you are! You're Captain Bernie and crew…the weird transvestite and her ship of freaks!"

Captain Bernie growled under her breath. She was not impressed with that comment and with this anger she spontaneously kicked the policeman right in between the legs and punched him in the jaw. It knocked him right out.

The other policeman tried to react quickly, but the Captain was too quick for him and before he knew it, his rifle was sent flying out of his hands and he too was punched in the jaw.

Tidus watched this feisty woman in disbelief and decided that he would never like to get on the bad side of Captain Bernie…unless he wanted to get his balls destroyed. Andre, who stood behind Tidus, leant closer into him and whispered, "I just love it when she gets all tough and badass." Tidus did not respond to this and the closeness of Andre made him a little uncomfortable, so he took a big step forward.

"Right…I suppose we better get moving," Bernie announced casually, as she stepped over the bodies of the policemen.

The crew nodded in response, but suddenly were interrupted by a loud gun shot and a bullet, which went flying into the ground by Bernie's feet. The Captain hastily looked up to see where it had come from, and to her shock, she saw the sniper in the watch tower.

"Shit! They've got a fucking sniper! Everybody run!" she yelled. The crew did not hesitate and began to leg it out of the docks.

The town's people all heard the sniper and began screaming and wailing. Bullets kept darting towards the crew and fortunately none of them had hit…yet. The crew soon got in amongst the crowds of the panicked townspeople and to their relief, the sniper stopped.

"Bernie!" shouted Lenny, trying to battle with everybody else's voices. "What the hell are we doing here? We need to get out! I knew this was a bad idea!"

"Well we're here now, so we have just got to deal with it!" she snapped back.

Suddenly another gun shot went off, more people screamed. This time the bullet flew close past Tidus and grazed his cheek causing him shriek in pain. This gun shot had spooked the crew and they began splitting up and racing off.

"Where do you think you're going!" exclaimed Bernie.

Angel Frankie and Sparky the dragon were heading down a small alley way. "We need to get out of the town centre Captain! We need to hide!"

Bernie, Lenny and Tidus were the three that remained amongst the crowds in the town centre "Fuck!" cursed Bernie. "Even Andre, my second hand man, has chickened off…the pussy!"

Lenny sighed in frustration, "To be honest, Bernie, your crew are doing the right thing! We need to hide!"

They weaved in and out of all the people and the chaos and were heading for the same alley Frankie and Sparky went down. Another gun shot went off, people screamed and a crouched to the floor. The bullet had hit Tidus in the thigh and he let out an ear piercing scream. The past few days seemed like a constant battle, he seemed to be gaining injury after injury but this by far had to be the worst. He stumbled and tightened his grip on Lenny. Blood was gushing out of his leg and he began to feel queasy, his vision started to become blurred.

"Fuck, fuck fuck!" cursed Lenny.

"We need to hurry!" said a panicked Bernie as she dashed passed them both.

"You think I don't realise this!" responded Lenny.

Lenny carefully propped Tidus over his shoulder and then ran as fast as he could down the alley. Tidus was trying to fight through the immense pain he was in and bobbing up and down on Lenny's muscular shoulder was not helping at all.

The alley was surrounded by tall derelict buildings, there were a few tramps napping in cardboard boxes and several stray dogs having a sniff around. Unlike the people in the town centre, no one was taking much notice of them and it was just as well; they really could not afford to attract any more attention than they had already.

"Shit! Where the hell are Frankie and Sparky?" spat Bernie as she came to a halt. The alley was long and seemed never ending and they were now quite a distance from the town but if they waited here much longer, the police would find them as plenty of people saw them enter into the alley.

To the right of them, were some rusty old stairs which lead down underneath a dirty, slate coloured building. Suddenly a voice came from the darkness at the bottom of these stairs, "Captain! Come down here!" It was Frankie. "There are some people here, who may be able to help us…come quick."

An exhausted Lenny looked over to Bernie. The Captain nodded. "Come on, let's go." Tidus, who was still draped over Lenny's shoulder, had stopped his wailing as his whole leg now felt numb. He had lost all energy and let his limp body bob up and down as Lenny carried him down the stairs. His eyes wanted to shut, random thoughts were now popping into his head and soon he drifted off into a deep sleep.

* * *

Meanwhile, back on the ship, Rocky still remained keeping eye on the policemen who Lenny had frozen earlier. Rocky had seen what had happened to Bernie and crew on the docks and it had worried him sick. He wanted to run into Shepington Town and help them, but he would not know where to go. Perhaps, they had all been captured and killed by now. Rocky did not like to think that, but it was a high possibility. He sat on the stairs between the lower and upper outside deck just watching the policemen. He had a stiletto in a sheath tied onto his belt and his right hand was upon this, just in case the policemen suddenly burst into motion.

There was shouting from the docks. Rocky cocked his head, the voice sounded familiar. Leaving the policemen unguarded for a few seconds was not going to hurt, so quickly he got himself to his feet and dashed up the stairs onto the outside deck. He leant over the side of the ship and felt his stomach flip when, to his shock, saw President Seymour shouting at the police guards who had been knocked out earlier by Captain Bernie. Although the policemen had regained consciousness, Rocky could tell they were still quite dazed and were not really paying attention to Seymour's rant.

The ronso knew that Seymour was going to come on board and therefore needed to escape and fast. He dashed back down the stairs, but then stopped dead in his tracks. His stomach flipped again – the frozen policemen had disappeared. Rocky pulled out his stiletto getting prepared for the unexpected. He heard a creak directly behind him and sharply turned around to see one of the policemen standing right in front of him. Before Rocky could react to this, he was punched hard in the face knocking him right out.

Rocky slowly re-gained consciousness, as his eyes wearily opened. He was sat on a chair with his arms tied tight together behind him with some very thick and uncomfortable rope. Either side of him were the two policemen who had originally been frozen. Now however, they were standing tall with their arms folded looking down at the ronso. Directly in front of him stood President Seymour in a fine suit with his hair tied back in a pony tail. He had a rather unpleasant smug grin on his face. "Hello Rocky!" he chirped. "Nice to see you again…I honestly thought you were dead."

"Well…I am afraid I am not Mr President…sorry to disappoint," muttered Rocky in reply.

"Disappointed? Ha! Oh Rocky, I am not disappointed!" boomed Seymour. "I am, in fact, rather glad you're alive because it means you can tell me all about this little assassination plot of yours." Rocky's eyes widened causing Seymour to laugh. "Oh, don't be so surprised Rocky! Whilst you were having a kip, I and the boys decided to take a little look around this glorious ship of yours. It was very interesting...reading all of Captain Bernie's notes on the Besaid Temple which, evidently, is where I am going to have my wedding…let me guess…you were planning to kill me on that day, no?"

Rocky just stared at the President and kept silent. He did not want to reveal anything. Seymour sighed, "You do realise Rocky that if you don't answer me, I will make you suffer."

Rocky lifted an eyebrow. "What exactly are you going to do? Throw me in jail?"

Seymour smirked, "No…much worse."

Rocky felt a sudden painful blow to the right cheek, jolting his head uncomfortably. The strike had come from another policeman stood behind him and Rocky's cheek was now throbbing fast. Yet he fought through the pain and tried to show no emotion, he did not want to give Seymour any satisfaction.

However, despite his best efforts, the President of Spira laughed and held a smug grin. He looked into Rocky's eyes, "You're a very handsome ronso I must say…most of them are ugly fuckers!"

Rocky did not respond, but just held eye contact with Seymour.

Suddenly the President cocked his head to the side, pulled out a revolver gun from his inner jacket pocket and aimed it right at Rocky's head. "On second thoughts Rocky, I may just kill you!"

BANG! The bullet went straight into the ronso's head, sending the chair flying backwards, with Rocky still bound to it, straight to the floor. Blood had splattered everywhere and the ever so loyal Rocky was dead.


End file.
